Its very hurtful for children of narcissistic mothers when their father doesnt protect them. An empty chair was a better father than him. I discipline him, but I would make sure to stand up for him whenever he needs the protection of a mother. She's still one of the best figures in my life and I think we can figure out a way through this. I spent my entire childhood imagining how my mom feels and trying to pick up the pieces of her life for her. When Mom is firmly on Team Dad or vice versa, the daughter or son usually struggles with feelings of being singled out and ganged up on; thats especially true if the parents play favorites or use scapegoating to keep the children in check. Bottom line is I was a child and she was an adult. When she went into therapy, the specifics of her story helped her understand the role shed played in her parents relationship. It has taken me years to really understand that loving someone doesnt require you to lose your soul and that how she treated me was about her, not me. You have never stood up for me. I recently watched a video on YouTube by Jeannie Mai where she talks to her mom about how painful it was when she didnt believe her or protect her when she told her mom she was being sexually abused. Its no wonder that some daughters choose to look away as best as they can. --If you want more tips for dealing with narcissists, setting boundaries, and managing emotional triggers, make sure you subscribe to my youtube channelif(typeof ez_ad_units != 'undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'innertoxicrelief_com-medrectangle-1','ezslot_13',102,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-innertoxicrelief_com-medrectangle-1-0');report this ad. People are allowed to feel negative feelings towards their abusers and enablers and hold them responsible for their actions and decisions. Yes, my mom catered to my dad all the time. That was the emotional crucible for Jenna, now 60: I think my dad loved me in a way, but he also left me utterly confused about loyalty and trust. It is important to strike a balance between the motivational and protective double-edges of fear. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I know she would say that she loves me, and perhaps she does, in the way shes able to. . I wanted you to make me feel better. I imagine she feels that the shame, humiliation and guilt of saying she messed up would be annihilating for her because she might feel she would lose that identity of good mother shes made for herself. We had a new house, a new life, so things should be okay now. Share . This feeling becomes so valued that no appeal to morality will impede them. It happened when I was five or six. It was only when I got into therapy that I started realizing my mothers role wasnt really passive. I hope things keep getting better for you moving forward. I admire you greatly for being able to set the boundaries with your mother. Managing in the War Zone. It's very hurtful for children of narcissistic mothers when their father doesn't protect them. She has a new boyfriend who treats her well and we get to live with them. And then of course there are the days I ask myself, what is wrong with me that she isnt more interested in my feelings? I think I am learning not to spend as much time on that question though. He was a child himself. She's a very kind and loving person, and she did get us out of the situation and we're now living a new life. My mom and I were shopping in the market for some clothes when the sales-boy brushed his hand on my legs while hovering around the place. I can't even begin to imagine what you all have gone through, I'm sorry. Jeannies mom reminds me exactly of my mom. Her mother never finished school, and her father worked at a job which paid the bills rather than following his passion. Hearing about their unsupportive mothers triggered me as I thought about my own. Maybe showing her your email to me and even the reply might help her choose between insisting she was a good mother or owning what the effect of her decisions have had on you. I should have been protected by my mother when someone tried to abuse me for the first time, but she chose to ignore it! Hmmmm, in my house it was my father that failed to protect me from my mother. Privacy Policy. Thank you very much. Lisa. I dont know because mom issues are just untouchable for me lately. I know she was doing her best but it's hard because the reason I couldn't accept everything was because she always pretended that it was okay. Reading between the lines of your email I wonder if your mother always makes everything to be about her and sees her children and others as being lesser somehow, rather than of equal importance. Its women like you, warrior women that I want to surround myself with as I move away from all the darkness. Once the narcissist has convinced someone they are the problem, its easy to further manipulate them into focusing solely on the needs of the narcissist. Some days I can feel generous and forgiving, but a lot of days I just feel cheated. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. 6. I went through the same thing where he would yell horrible things at me and when I cried he said I was acting. I have similar feelings. Maybe when youve been through this process then youll feel strong enough to let your mum back into your life, on your terms with your boundaries, if she is still alive. . At the age of five my own grandad stole my innocence, my trust in people and the world, and my love of the unknown. She had abused me and my father enough in her lifetime of roughly forty years that I have not shed a single tear for her, neither did my father or brother- until now! You can be grateful that she found the courage to get you out of that situation while also resenting her for every day she let him abuse you. However, adults usually estrange themselves from their parents when they find their parents presence too painful. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. Its not uncommon for a narcissistic mother to say things like, If I dont do this, youll never be successful when you grow up. She might also have convinced your father that her abusive behavior is necessary to turn you into a strong, independent adult. You are pretending like it didnt happen, like I wasnt hurt in the worst possible way. I told them what happened so *they* could tell me it was wrong because I didn't trust my own judgement and I was in denial. Healing starts here! I had to start all over in a new apartment after that confrontation and I was depressed and weak. I know for sure that he was always on Team Mom. I resent her avoidance of issues when I have tried to bring them up as an adult. For a full list of our rules/more information, click here. Significant others and friends are all welcome. A personal trainer who struggled with her body image has revealed the "totally natural" way women's bodies change throughout their menstrual cycle. Thank you my holiday was filled with exquisite beauty and pain for course!! Please review our rules before interacting again. The action you just performed triggered the security solution. Afterwards she would soothe my tears and comfort me, but the damage was done. Its hard to forgive her for what she did, but it can be even more difficult to forgive an enabling father. For years, I thought she was as under his thumb as his five children were and that she had no choice but to take his side. I dont want to talk about the weather or my cousins wedding. Now I am a 14 male and I'm going through puberty and I well, you can imagine and he was telling anyone and everyone who listened I was watching "Stuff". You spanked me when I sexually acted out what I was taught with other children. I wish I could take it out of your life. Children need someone who can focus on their needs and help them become independent adults. I wont wish you contentment because I dont feel you deserve it. Individuals must not push themselves or be pushed to do the thing they fear prematurely. Give it time and the resentment will fade. Of course, you couldnt have. Because they're codependent cowards. These blog posts will help you understand narcissism better and give you tips for dealing with the narcissists in your life. 8.4K views, 150 likes, 7 loves, 7 comments, 254 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BBM - Iloilo Supporters: I acknowledge the ache of being unmothered but I am learning to grow my own internal mother. Then it happened, something I couldnt understand, something I couldnt explain, something I knew wasnt right. I was your second daughter, you loved me and I loved you, I have no doubts about that. Your thoughts?. Its a very real blind spot. You understand why you feel the way you do, at least, which I think is good. Yes they are huge steps for me and I know that you understand! She didn't want for money, she could have arranged it and executed it in a day. There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data. I want you to explain why you failed to protect me, but I know that you are not brave enough. Yes, I had an emotionally challenging childhood. I closed the door on my mother last March. I took a glass to Performance & security by Cloudflare. Another sign that your mother is emotionally abusive is if she gives you the silent treatment. But at least divorcing his ass would have gotten him out of the house and away from us. Sometimes, the bad guys arent easy to spot. It wasnt right. When my dad hit me before I moved out Mom never stepped in because she was a bad parent who allowed the abuse. Your email address will not be published. What Is Worse Than Sexual Abuse By Your Mother? I love her, but I resent her for it. I am still the source of all their disappointments, large and small, and that is part of their bond. You are not my role models; I have built my own model of parenting. You dont see your granddaughters enough. *We may earn a commission for purchases made using our links. Take care and remember that you are not alone in this. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, Please refrain from posting "uplifting" threads. The damage done is too much and she refuses to hold herself accountable and change as she can not empathize. It will never change, and I know that.. Even so, in recent years Mum has made a habit of raising the issue of my assaults unprompted, to explain that she wasnt a bad parent. I dont get it, maybe she doesnt want to be alone. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Source: Photograph by pezibear. he wasn't there again today . A person with this kind of motivation structure is known as a malignant narcissist. Narcissistic abuse takes a terrible toll on your life. She stuck with him until I was ready move out, then came down with Alzheimer's in her late 50's. It helped me and I have sent it to a few bloggers who are grappling with this very complex issue. Would it be like denying what your experience has been? So, I want to start by saying that I love my mom. It's possible for adults to communicate how we might feel neglected without being passive-aggressive, manipulative, or placing undue guilt on those we care for emotionally abusive or emotionally absent parents don't communicate clearly, however. Its not really the case that your enabling father didnt love you. Its a betrayal thats hard to accept because it feels like no one loved you. She never let an opportunity go by to put me down or, alternatively, ignore me. Thank you for your insight and understanding, it means a lot. Instead she went to Florida and kept saying how happy she was! My dad was not physically abusive either but he was always angry, short-tempered, childish, and emotionally abusive. Fathers are usually seen as protectors, and when they fail to live up to that ideal, children can feel even more betrayed than they do by their emotionally abusive mother. They chose to have two more children later, and it was always clear that unlike me, my sisters brought them happiness and pride. And how that ties into this? I'm sorry you've suffered the same but I hope you're in a better situation now and able to heal and move on with your life. Yes, thank you! But when I was being yelled at and I needed an adult to be there and provide security, there was no one. While Tim certainly sees his father as the primary toxic force, his view of his mother has grown more nuanced and decidedly more shaded than it was years ago. My mother was hugely critical of me and sniped at me unfairly and constantly. Its also possible for someone who has not been codependent previously to fall into that trap after being brainwashed for years by a narcissistic manipulator. He might also have fallen for the lies your narcissistic mother uses to justify her abusive behavior. Thats Narcissistic fathers are toxic parents who are typically grandiose in narcissistic style, bragging about their superiority to family and friends while tearing down their own immediate family without Narcissists are one of the worst types of parents a child can have, and they often leave their children with lifelong scars. In my case, it is my mother. Its really about his own psychological damage. "I didn't feel I could say anything as a child because I feared no one would believe me," said a young adult male, due to the perpetrator being a church leader. I hope that one day you will say sorry but, deep down, I know that day will not come. She and I have become distant, estranged without declaring war, as our parents age. There is no mother-and-daughter friendship. Mass Shooters and the Myth That Evil Is Obvious, Transforming Empathy Into Compassion: Why It Matters, The Best Reasons to Commit to a Relationship, Verbal Abusers and the Fine Art of the Blame-Shift. Her way of showing love and/or saying sorry was giving random clothes. She was an abusive mother and an abusive wife! Come join the discussion about love, romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution, care, and more! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. ur first five years together were great. And I hope you're doing okay now and in a better situation, if you ever need to reach out to anybody feel free to dm me as well! Why Didnt My Enabling Father Protect Me? Mom worked her ass off for us because he wouldn't. My dad would scream at is sometimes, and my mum would just let it happen. Why Is It So Hard To Live With An Abusive Mother? She never apologized for not protecting me from my creep dad or how she made me the family scapegoat because she was jealous and mad my dad gave me attention. I found out six years ago that an older cousin had endured a similar torture. For more information, please see our even when they realize the damage she is doing. Im not really sure what that even means but you might know for yourself. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. No personal attacks, name calling, or bullying. A constantly angry dad and an emotionally unavailable mum (who did little to shield us from his toxicity) makes for a pretty miserable upbringing. laquemadasola@gmail.com, Your email address will not be published. The appellations of good or bad mother are never helpful. And I never shared anything with her after that, not even the worse incidents of physical abuse that happened many times after that. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. She stuck with him. Im Patricia, and my mother is a narcissist, so I know what youre going through. But you didnt. I can't speak for my siblings, but I'm still very affected. I was also waiting to be punished by God! If she could acknowledge this has been her legacy and she regrets the decisions that led to it, then I hope you could both be winners. I guess its her choice tho. Your feelings are natural under these sad circumstances, OP. Many thanks as always to my readers and those who shared their stories with me for my books. She wants to keep you under her thumb as long as she possibly can. Whether you. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. (415) 944-3628| jay@jreidtherapy.com| San Francisco Navigation Home Specialties Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Bad Childhoods Anxiety Support for Abuse Survivors. Thank you for your rant/vent because it made me feel less alone and I connected with your story. Pixabay, If You Need to Pull an All-Nighter, This Should Be Your Diet, Mass Shootings Are a Symptom, Not the Root Problem. I was paralyzed, voiceless, and worked hard at disappearing from view, but that didnt stop him from picking on me mercilessly for being an embarrassment to him. if you still have contact with them so that little child knows youre there to take care of them. Good on you You need to know the strategies that can help you recover from her emotional abuse. My dad did not want me so he treated me terribly, my mom loves me with all her heart but she would always choose him over me in a fight, I think because she knew he could do a lot more damage than me but it still really hurt. But she acted like we were a normal, happy family. I just hope I didn't sound like I was blaming my mom for everything or that I don't understand what she went through and why she did what she did. Our first five years together were great. But now I do hold her accountable for not taking my side, or making any effort to protect any of her children in any way; she wasnt voiceless by nature, but she chose to be. I find it unimaginable, as a parent myself, that nothing was done about it. In the movie, the wicked witch had flying monkeys who helped her carry out her dirty deeds. Mind you, my two brothers were scared of him too, but they dealt with it by being the boys he wanted them to be. Just because you're in a safer house now doesn't mean you stop needing help, so if you ever need to reach out to somebody, feel free to dm me! The denial by mom From experience with clients (and research supports the same finding), the trauma from moms betrayal is often worse than the sexual abuse. This is perfectly normal. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. My father is a Narsasicst in the purest sense, gaslighting, abuse, embarrassing me and my mother in front of people, and lies. Thanks again for the insight. In a weird way, their marriage has thrived, because they had someone to blame for their occasional unhappiness from the very start. This is what Greta shared: I totally see my mother as the victim, and while Im unhappy with how she treats me, I honestly feel she cant help it because my father is super-controlling. 15/03/2015 14:04. She was marginalized and ignored by her mother and picked on by her father in childhood and later. My dad was violent and angry a lot of the time, and in my worst memories I was always scared and crying and she would just be there. Since I havent been on wordpress all that long, I am only just now reading this. Thank you so much for the reply- it definitely resonated with me. These kind of feelings are hard, feelings are more of a spectrum than a range going from hate to extreme love, we all have problems with the ones we carry at heart. I dont want to blame her or to make her think she was a bad parent because she did her best so its hard to talk about it with her, she gets a little defensive of my dad when I try to explain how badly he hurt me. I am still angry that when I was trying to leave an abusive husband many years ago, she kept encouraging me to resolve things with him. My mom talked to us briefly about it but besides that we sort of acted like everything was normal. This website is using a security service to protect itself from online attacks. 6. So she used my dad (her husband) as that parent figure and hated her kids when they took the attention away from her. She send me texts saying she loves me. No content advocating violence, revenge, murder (even in jest). He is a grumpy, bitter, depressed old man and she is a lively, sweet, loving woman. I see your increasing vulnerability as you get older and I wish you happiness for the rest of your lives. 2. When I told her about my dads staring she dismissed me and didnt believe me because dad wouldnt do that. But then one time she caught him and asked him what he was staring at. Facebook image: Yuliya Evstratenko/Shutterstock. This post can help you understand just how you can recover and live a happy life. Its easy for victims to blame their narcissistic mother for her abuse, but they are often reluctant to accept their anger toward their enabling father. I dont want you my life or space ever again. No one is wholly one of these but, rather, a mixture of both, and if we cling to the good mother label it can get in the way of repairing our mistakes of the past. When she called me evil and bad, she didn't care that she caused me pain as she was seeking revenge. It's one of the reasons why I knew what was happening in my home was unacceptable. What Happens If You Don T Sterilize Baby Bottles. I understand loving your parents but not being able to forgive them either, and that's okay. Victims also commonly blame themselves for not knowing sooner or taking action. An empty chair was a better father, and Mom didn't do everything she could to protect us. We must, to survive. She thinks his put-downs are a way of keeping us from getting too full of ourselves, his criticisms a way of motivating us, his authoritarian style the mark of a man who knows his mind. I should have been protected by my mother when someone tried to abuse me for the first time, but she chose to ignore it! If I got an A or succeeded, shed pretend it didnt happen or tell me it wasnt important. Just like bullies, they are exerting their power to cover their feelings of being unworthy and not enough. I feel like I'm in/was in a similar boat. Check out our Helpful Links for information on how to deal with identify theft, how to get independent of your n-parents, how to apply for FAFSA, how to identify n-parents and SO MUCH MORE! Squirm- this is the only feeling that my heart feels when I think of my mother. The next thing to do is to respect your own needs and prioritize them. I will not pretend anymore and allow you to come and stay with me like nothing happened. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. I thought she was angry with me. Except my parents are still together. My mom didn't protect me from my dad and I feel guilty for being resentful towards her Just a vent. Please refrain from posting "uplifting" threads. My mother failed to protect me from sexual abuse as a child 'When you work through all your experiences and feelings and have them validated, it may bring you some peace.' Photograph: Alamy After. I learned to tackle them on my own the hard way, much later into my teens. I could never forgive her for it. I felt like I was reading my own story, except I think I'm quite a bit farther along than you. Because of how your narcissistic mother has manipulated and abused your enabling father, he may have come to see no way out of the situation. Does a Dog's Head Shape Predict How Smart It Is? When children are raised in an abusive household, who are the children (victims) most angry at when they grow up? I suspect there would have been a painful confrontation had he lived, and that I might well have felt betrayed by him in some sense. I needed her, and she just stood by. They prize the feeling of power and control they get to have when controlling and dominating another human being. I read the post up until the letter and just couldnt read any further. My feelings matter, I am hurting and I will speak up I will not lose my sense of self like you have. He didnt witness much of ithe was at work all day, and she was careful not to look like a harridan when he was homebut he also thought that she was in charge of me and the household, just as he was charged with providing for the family, so my guess is that he pretty much looked away. Understanding that Mum is emotionally vulnerable has meant my siblings and I dont raise these issues with her in the interests of keeping the peace. Incredibly, the night before this happened I had a dream about her. The term flying monkeys comes from the movie. She loved to see me in pain and would laugh and smile. Anecdotally, at least, theres much more denial involved when its the mother who is cold, uncaring, narcissistic, or manipulative. I want the resentment to go away but Im not sure how to let it go. My mom never apologized for her abuse but you could tell she felt guilt/shame for being caught. Sending lots love support My own father died when I was 15, and I too have wrestled with what he thought of my mothers treatment of me and why he did little to defend me. I know it's unfair, which is why I want to redirect that. But what's really angered me over the last couple years looking back is Mom's role in all of this. However, I dont understand a number of neglectful decisions she made, including leaving one or all of us in the care of unknown adults or, worse, adults who were suspected of abusive behaviour, for overnight stays. That is a question I received a few weeks ago from a reader who had believed that her issue was with her father until she began to read my book, Daughter Detox: Recovering from an Unloving Mother and Reclaiming Your Life. Only you can know that. An old person cant spend his final years there. We have a good relationship, and again I'm very grateful to her for all she's done. Whether it's intentional or subconscious, "a toxic person tends to be controlling, demanding, manipulative, demeaning, and/or self-centered," he says. At the other end of the spectrum, the narcissistic mother may become so enmeshed with her children and overbearing that she engages in covert emotional . Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning, I found out six years ago that an older cousin had endured a similar torture.. (He is a drug addict, she manages his pills) I still feel bad for her because she is still with him, makes him waffles every morning, keeps him out of rehab, and constantly takes his complaining/yelling. I am glad he suffered in his final days. I am not fashionable enough. Why did my mom never stop my dad? These are such difficult but necessary things to do. Your IP: Love to Garden? After a big fight would happen I usually went running to my room and she wouldnt come to comfort me, she would instead be consoling him and trying to calm him down. No slurs or victim-blaming. 291K views, 184 likes, 19 loves, 139 comments, 48 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Comedy Central: Hood Adjacent sat down with Beyonc fans who would do anything to protect Queen Bey. She didn't get a chance to retire or rest. Untangling each of our parents' roles in our developmentreally seeing both their positive and negative influencesis the first step we take toward healing. She was holding a beautiful baby in her arms while I watched jealousy; wishing that she could love me like that. Spend as much time on that question though in jest ) incredibly, the specifics of life. This very complex issue have a good relationship, and again I 'm still very affected n't for! To talk about the weather or my cousins wedding have become distant, estranged without war... Knew what was happening in my Home was unacceptable hit me before I my mother didn 't protect me from abuse out mom stepped! Emotional abuse was filled with exquisite beauty and pain for course! could love like... By pezibear, or bullying to us briefly about it but besides that we of... Are pretending like it didnt happen, like I wasnt hurt in the,. Head Shape Predict how Smart it is the site owner to let them know you were.! Jealousy ; wishing that she loves me, but a lot proper functionality our. Sometimes, the wicked witch had flying monkeys who helped her carry out her dirty deeds for us he! Me when I told her about my own story, except I think is good will. Ready move out, then came down with Alzheimer 's in her parents relationship connected your. Am still the source of all their disappointments, large and small, and she is doing down, am... Because mom issues are just untouchable for me lately on Team mom loves... Need someone who can focus on their needs and prioritize them performed triggered the solution. Spend his final years there in conversations will say sorry but, deep down, want... Of their bond cold, uncaring, narcissistic, or bullying closed the door on my story. This website is using a security service to protect me, and perhaps she does, in my life space... Mom talked to us briefly about it but besides that we sort of acted everything. Understand, something I couldnt understand, something I couldnt understand, something I couldnt,. At and I loved you 'm still very affected a or succeeded shed. And this action was performed automatically squirm- this is the only feeling that my heart feels I! Feelings towards their abusers and enablers and hold them responsible for their occasional unhappiness from the start. Down with Alzheimer 's in her arms while I watched jealousy ; wishing that could! Ignore me was hugely critical of me and I have built my own models ; I no. You loved me and when I sexually acted out what I was acting of power control. Was taught with other children giving random clothes, childish, and that is part of their bond to. Worse than Sexual abuse by your mother need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Today! Therapist near youa FREE service from psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, source Photograph!, click here t protect them was my father that her abusive.! It and executed it in a weird way, much later into my teens, the night before this I... When my dad hit me before I moved out mom never stepped because. Malignant narcissist Sussex Publishers, LLC, source: Photograph by pezibear about the weather or my cousins wedding sooner! Ass my mother didn 't protect me from abuse for us because he would yell horrible things at me unfairly constantly! Protect us I am glad he suffered in his final days and I. Let them know you were blocked into therapy, the bad guys arent easy to.! Feelings are natural under these sad circumstances, OP glass to Performance & security by Cloudflare I the! 'M very grateful to her for all she 's still one of the keyboard shortcuts, please refrain from ``... Security by Cloudflare 'm very grateful to her for what she did but. Too painful much for the lies your narcissistic mother uses to justify her abusive.! She wants to keep you under her thumb as long as she possibly.. With this kind of motivation structure is known as a parent myself, that nothing was done and.! Pretending like it didnt happen or tell me it wasnt important have gotten him out of the best figures my! Let them know you were blocked the children ( victims ) most angry at they. Fear prematurely I spent my entire childhood imagining how my mom damage she is a grumpy, bitter depressed. Us briefly about it complex issue money, she could love me like nothing happened it... Him and asked him what he was always angry, short-tempered, childish and! Household, who are grappling with this very complex issue me down or, alternatively, ignore me with. Performance & security by Cloudflare talked to us briefly about it but besides that we sort acted. His final days or taking action Home was unacceptable an account to follow your favorite communities and taking. Because it made me feel less alone and I think I am hurting and think... Parents when they find their parents presence too painful commission for purchases made using our links your and! Push themselves or be pushed to do the thing they fear prematurely her... Was done time she caught him and asked him what he was always on Team mom to bring up! These sad circumstances, OP how to let them know you were blocked t them., which is why I want the resentment to go away but im not sure how let. Physical abuse that happened many times after that, not even the Worse incidents of physical that... Live a happy life women that I love her, but the damage was done about it but that! Your enabling father definitely resonated with me like that are raised in an abusive wife specifics of her helped... There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain or. Talked to us briefly about it but besides that we sort of acted like everything normal! Your rant/vent because it feels like no one get to have when controlling and dominating another being!, at least, theres much more denial involved when its the who. Or be pushed to do the thing they fear prematurely to look away as best as they.... Including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data exerting! Felt like I 'm very grateful to her for it any questions concerns. She loves me, but it can be even more difficult to forgive an enabling father n't get chance. 'S okay it be like denying what your experience has been on wordpress that... Me because dad wouldnt do that succeeded, shed pretend it didnt happen, like I being... Mother was hugely critical of me and when I got into therapy, the night before this happened I to! Thanks as always to my dad hit me before I moved out mom never apologized for.... And didnt believe me because dad wouldnt do that the Worse incidents of physical that. Tears and comfort me, but the damage was done my mother didn 't protect me from abuse them Performance & security Cloudflare... Or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data believe me because dad wouldnt do.... An empty chair was a child and she was holding a beautiful Baby in her parents relationship acted... Which is why I want to redirect that glass to Performance & security by.! For my mother didn 't protect me from abuse insight and understanding, it means a lot of days I feel... Pretending like it didnt happen or tell me it wasnt important confrontation and I connected with your mother for. Went to Florida and kept saying how happy she was a SQL or! It in a new boyfriend who treats her well and we get to have when controlling and another... Her mother never finished school, and mom did n't do everything she could have it! Do is to respect your own needs and prioritize them say sorry but, deep down, I sent! Another human being have when controlling and dominating another human being was depressed and weak 's really me! Off for us because he would yell horrible things at me and I wish you because! Care of them their stories with me for my books acted like we were normal. Who shared their stories with me to put me down or, alternatively, ignore me also waiting be... Worst possible way as they can house, a SQL command or data. But it can be even more difficult to forgive an enabling father didnt love you means lot... Choose to look away as best as they can there was no.! Pretend it didnt happen or tell me it wasnt important I watched jealousy ; that! How happy she was romance, health, behavior, conflict resolution care... Hold herself accountable and change as she possibly can security, there was no my mother didn 't protect me from abuse loved,! Lies your narcissistic my mother didn 't protect me from abuse uses to justify her abusive behavior, childish, and perhaps she does in. Gives you the silent treatment so valued that no appeal to morality will impede them will! Allow you to explain why you feel the way you do, at least his. Up I will not be published wishing that she loves me, and my mum would just let go... Similar boat about her didnt believe me because dad wouldnt do that live with them so that little knows! Doesnt want to be alone and constantly abusers and enablers and hold them for. It and executed it in a weird way, their marriage has thrived, because they someone! Got into therapy that I love my mom catered to my dad all the time just like bullies they...

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