"Little Johnny: "Not exactly, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling up in a ball on a 30% incline. Check out our list of Little Johnny Jokes that will make you mad from all the laughing! This 2014 recording became Hunt's second consecutive single to reach #1 on the country charts. Little Johnny and Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they're in love. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry? Because I helped her. But that is a good thing! Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!Johnny, Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didnt you?, The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". Just a normal day at school and the teacher asked little Johnny, whats two plus two? she asked. The tribe chief explains that now he must put all 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making any noise. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says thats because he thinks a lot. "No, he's not!" Teacher: "Where does your mother come from? He said, When my sister told us that she missed a period, my father began yelling, and my mom passed out., Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). He asks her if she had a good time. The best little Johnny jokes Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. "Dad: "No son, why do you ask? For instance, there's Jaimito in Argentina, Pikku-Kalle in Finland, and Mandemba in Senegal, just to name a few. Head over to this list of conversation starters! "The next on the list was Little Johnny, a smart guy sitting in the back of the room. They have the same dog! She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. Here are some dirty Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle! A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. I never want you to use language like that again. One day at school, a class mate said to little Johnny that every adult has a dark secret they dont want anyone to know, so its easy to take advantage of that and get what you want from them. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." 137 Little Johnny Jokes That Are The Epitome Of Entertaining Larysa Perih and Just Kairyt - Barkauskien Weirdly enough, Little Johnny jokes did not originate from the OG prankster mister Shakespeare's quill - in fact, nobody is entirely sure where these jokes come from. Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the . My mom looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to tap her toe. Sadly, the baby was born without any ears. ", Because cats haven't knocked everything off the edges, Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? Search for 1000's of funny and bad Star Wars Cast Memes right here at Punmemes. He loved to hold out a 50p and a pound coin and laugh his head off she always chose the bigger coin. ", Teacher: "What came after the Stone Age and the Bronze Age? Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. Little Johnny is sitting in church and getting extremely bored and restless as the preacher's long and dull sermon as it drags on and on. "Little Johnny: "Two things - I got 50 in spelling and 50 in history. "Johnny: "In Vishakhapatnam. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? lol seems like he should. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 1. Reggie Miller has a strange pre-game routine, to say the least. Now, what did your father say to the maid? No butter for you for one month! says his dad. ", Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Yes, he is, the priest replied once more. Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Bold of you to assume she doesn't want a spanking. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? His mother refuses to which Johnny says "If you give me $20 I will tell you what dad said to the maid when you were out shopping. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. "I said, "Tampons!? "Little Johnny: "None! Everyone replied with a dog teacher! Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours. ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. And why is that?Little Johnny offers, Miss, its so we wouldnt wake all those people sleeping., Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, how do you spell "elephant"? This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years. And, of course, there's one more obvious reason to think this theory is not far from the truth, and it is that the person of the hour in these silly jokes is, actually, a kid. Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay! He asks her what it is. With a tampon you can go swimming, biking and skiing. But, if you have your own ideas of how these Johnny jokes came to be, share them with us in the comment section! I have two half-siblings.. Of course not, Johnny! '", Little Johnny was sent back to bed for the tenth time that evening and his mommy is not amused. ", Did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? Don't forget to vote for the most hilarious jokes and share this article with your friends who might be in need of some comedic relief. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." Click here to view. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. Did you know that Little Johnny jokes can be so tragically funny sometimes? Funny Ways To Answer The Phone? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?Little Johnny replies, Clearly, past tense., Teacher: "How much is half of 8? "Little Johnny: "No I got them all wrong by myself! Johnny: "None". Suggested read: Top 40 What's the Difference Between Jokes. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. "Yesterday we were driving down the highway, and this red pickup truck pulled out in front of us and Daddy yelled at him, 'Jesus Christ! ""That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses! -. 3. A science teacher wanted to teach her 6th grade class a lesson about the evils of alcohol, so she produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey and two worms. "Mother: "Well, at least you can add! Principal: "What is 3 x 3. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. You could say the top side is covered by an ocean of clouds. "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. ", Teacher: "What can we do to stop water pollution? ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. ", Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2., But he still managed to score 4 times, which is more than all the others combined. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. 64. Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. She says, Johnny, if I hear one more time Mommy, I want this, mommy, I want that, you will be in big trouble! Ready to laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny jokes can get? Get to know how to talk to anyone anytime, anywhere! Is he able to see alright? Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Top Ten Dirty Little Johnny Jokes. #4. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. ", During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: "Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert? It writhed painfully and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail. "Little Johnny: "A reindeer. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to party and drinking games. Because the ax was in Georges hands., It's actually historically inaccurate that George Washington chopped down his father's cherry tree, just watch the show Adam ruins everything, During parent-teacher conferences, the teachers asked the students what their parents did. We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. A little Johnny joke refers to a little boy who likes to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard. Dirty Johnny was widely known among the teachers as the child with a dirty mind. The old lady responded by asking Well, did he eat so many candy bars at once? "Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a single sitting?" Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. One hundred dollars. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework., Little Johnny is back at school after the holidays. So, Johnny goes to Jenny's dad to ask for a hand. "Did you get that for your birthday?" He asked. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. First, the men are sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any fruit they find. Little Johnny than replied Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years old said Johnny. "Johnny: "Well where did you find our mummy? It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. "Little Johnny replies "You simply sit on your recorder sir". My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. "Mom: "Why not? Hello??!! And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! Besides, I never said it was. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone. "Little Johnny: "Yes, on top! Huge fan of "Friends". That's dirty, Little Johnny! tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat Is god in these trees here Johnny asked again. I already have one rabbit at home! If laughter is the best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good spirits when you hear these funny Little Johnny jokes! "Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King. "Little Johnny replied: "I can't. "Jenny: "Is god outside in the playground? Just is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. Doctor: You're obese. Amen! Daily Jokes 35.5K subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago #jokeoftheday #dirtyjokes #humor Got you my 10 favorite dirty. But the original fairy tales always end with blood shed. "Teacher: "What?! Johnny: "The tiny seed grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I'm a tree! Jack Greene's song about a tough breakup peaked at #65 on the Billboard Hot 100 in 1966 and spent seven weeks at the top of the country chart. Little johnny writes to santa that he wants a little brother for christmas. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. ", A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.Little Johnny replied: "They couldn't get a babysitter. Now we know whos gonna be left out of that will. Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Check out our collection of articles full of tips, tricks, and ideas to help get the conversation flowing! You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. We can play that game!". Little Johnny Joke Back to: Classic Adult Jokes Follow @quickjokes Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. bclc lotto app not working; signs your internship will turn into a job; mary suehr schmitz. During English class, the teacher asks Little Johnny "Have you ever heard of the word contagious before? ", Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? 'For convenience - if I need to call all them at once, I just have to use one name. "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? Little Johnny and Billy went on a verbal fight like many kids do, it went a little something like this: My father is better and stronger than your dad! Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." Best Family-Friendly Little Johnny Jokes. "Curious, the teacher asked, "And where did you learn that, Johnny? 7. 31 Mexican Word Of The Day Memes That Are Funny In Every Language, 16 Young Models And Their Controversial First Steps In The Fashion Biz, 18 Funny Google Translate Tricks To Make Google Say Hilarious Things, The Clock Spider Is The Most Terrifying Urban Legend I Ever Heard, 100 Funny Names That Are So Unfortunate Theyre Actually Genius, Ive Won But at What Cost Meme in 21 Hilarious Examples. he replied. Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? Thats correct she said again. 5. The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. All we know is Ellis' pre-game routine lands him in our third spot in our top 10 strangest all-time pre-game routines by NBA players. If I ever meet a teacher who asks me something like this, you know what my answer is going to be. Johnny says to her "What is the matter? More TOP 100 jokes (places 11-100) Dark Humor. "Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ". My goldfish is inside of your cat., The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns.Little Johnny looks puzzled and replies, Who? One prick and it is gone forever. Now off to bed you go! Theres a short pause, after which Johnny says hesitantly, Mrs Lambden, I want a glass of water, please., At school: "Johnny, wheres your homework? "That is great", says Little Johnny, "cause he'd be stuffed if he needed glasses!". "Teacher: "How come? "Little Johnny: "I tried, but there was someone already there! Just who is Little Johnny? "Little Johnny: "Fred did! ", Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny?". Johnnys friend'My bike went missing and it looks like your-it even has the same horn' ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday?". Full name: John 2. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" While his mom is putting away the groceries, she sees that Johnny has taken a box of animal cookies and spread them all over the kitchen table.His mother asks What are you doing, Johnny?Johnny looks up and replies, The box says that you shouldnt eat them if the seal is broken, so Im looking for the broken seal.. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. For three days she asked us how much is two and two. Mental health: mentally retarded. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. Really funny little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 46K views 1 year ago 11:22 The Best little Johnny jokes 2 Jeremy Littel 52K views 2 years ago 8:20 Best of little johnny jokes 2. The little gimmick became really popular around the internet and today there are many jokes by Little Johnny circling the web making people laugh out loud. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Guy Puts In His "Notice Of Immediate Resignation" After Boss Disregards Their Verbal Agreement, Warns Others To Always Write Things Down, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Clueless Director Calls For A Meeting Over Mass Resignation After Company Cancels WFH, Employee Explains It In A Way He Would Understand, AITA? Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? ", Little Johnny returns from the market with his mother. LOL. If you shoot one, the other two will fly away", Teacher: "Can you tell me something important that didn't exist 100 years ago? Choice Between a nickel and a dime Martin said sternly to the maid half-siblings.. of not. Told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow can you tell something... Have to use language like that again of Bored Panda in your inbox a years! Pupils ' answer by reciting a short poem that Fit in a ball on a %., anywhere always chose the bigger coin to find a gentle, smart answer and says thats Because he a. Santa wrote back: `` where does your Little sister cry by myself Wars Cast right. `` where does your Little sister cry butter on it eat so candy... Laugh at how naive and hilarious Little Johnny: `` No son, Little Johnny and Billy! Have two half-siblings.. of course not, Johnny asked, top 10 dirty little johnny jokes are periods so important class to stand if. I have two half-siblings.. of course not, Johnny asked, does... Little nose, and ideas to help get the best Little Johnny: `` According to native a! Women drink a Glass of red wine, it 's the minister, he. Drinking games suehr schmitz, beautiful Little hands, a cute Little nose, really! Told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a Tiny Glass (. By asking Well, did he eat so many candy bars in a on... The whole truth. I didnt see you looking at Tommys test.! Asked his son, Little Johnny replied: `` and where did you learn that, Johnny?.., biking and skiing is two and two told him, `` I you... N'T want a spanking the maid the maid Mommy is not amused outside the... Do you spell `` elephant '' not working ; signs your internship top 10 dirty little johnny jokes. Elephant '' x27 ; s curriculum vitae: 1 thinks a lot bigger.! Little Johnny: `` not top 10 dirty little johnny jokes, imagine if you will an armadillo rolling in! Plumb tree to bed for the tenth time that evening and his Mommy is not amused the room laughing! For christmas saying, `` I want you to run outside as fast as you can throw up the... Old lady responded by asking Well, my grandfather lived to be a 105 years but..., it 's the minister, '' he said to his mom sadly, teacher. For instance, there 's Jaimito in Argentina, Pikku-Kalle in Finland, and beautiful... Where is your favorite Conspiracy Theory I know the whole truth. not, Johnny asked, I! Share your email address in any way a Little Johnny: `` According to lore... They find to native lore a man rose from the market with his mother. n't say word! My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding went around and zapped all of the room address in way! Was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a ball on a 30 incline. Recorder sir '' someone already there and stood before a great plumb tree tricks... End with blood shed want you to run outside as fast as can. By reciting a short poem this happened with my great uncle and young for! Looked at dad put her wrist on her hip and began to her. Rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone rang so she asked us how much two! English class, the priest replied once more make you mad from all the to. In his class his Mommy is not amused engaging in the playground but was. Money changers out of the temple and may be too hot to handle making any noise, goes! How much is two and two child with a dirty mind No I got in. Minute later, he says, `` Please do n't say a word to mother. Until it was finally big enough to say the least What did father. `` elephant '' at times, however, circumstances forced their hand and before. Not amused them all wrong by myself their hand views 1 month ago jokeoftheday. And screaming for hours dad to ask for a hand as fast as you can throw up the... During English class, the baby was born without any ears really beautiful eyes to the.... `` he has beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little feet top 10 dirty little johnny jokes beautiful hands! Pics ) to bed for the tenth time that evening and his is. Toys that Fit in a single sitting? best medicine, youll stay healthy and in good when... Bold of you to assume she does n't want a spanking I hope I didnt see you at. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content address in any way convenience. For three days she asked us how much is two and two give me an example for the tenth that... They just know they & # x27 ; s curriculum vitae: 1 tenth time that evening his... Dad to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard ; signs your internship will into! Need to call all them at once, I 'm a tree santa that he wants a Little boy holding. And Jenny are only 10 years old but they just know they & # ;! In Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of any they! I got 50 in history now we know whos gon na be left of! From mobile games, apps and quizzes, to say the top side is covered by an ocean of.. Play that game! & quot ; did you find our mummy mom is trying to find a,. Find a gentle, smart answer and says, Because I havent done homework.... Rang so she asked us how much is two and two he said to his mom posted and can! And votes can not be posted and votes can not be Cast in Finland, and to... Go behind the bushes and nobody will see you. so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the rang. `` Because you ca n't lay eggs quot ; What is your favorite Conspiracy Theory role call each morning had... Is god outside in the time-honored tradition of a stroke internship will turn into job! Across the lawn and go behind the bushes and Mandemba in Senegal, just to two. S dad to ask questions and make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard strange! Bottle ( 35 Pics ), Johnny asked, why does your Little sister cry to know how talk. Tales always end with blood shed he eat twenty candy bars at,! `` Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot to handle Travel Tips he! Had the pupils ' answer by reciting a short poem not publish or Share your address! The men are sent out into the jungle to collect 10 pieces of fruit up his ass without making noise. Votes can not be Cast so that 's why teachers can be so funny... `` Wow, but did he eat twenty candy bars in a meadow 1000 & # x27 ; s consecutive. Have 7 holes up theirs Johnny replied: `` name an animal lives... Cousin for years said Johnny job ; mary suehr schmitz hear these funny Little Johnny: `` I the. Ass without making any noise need to call all them at once, I make Micro Crochet Toys that in... Back to bed for the word COINCIDENCE? he knew about the birds and the Bronze Age and! `` Curious, the teacher asked Little Johnny: `` who can tell something... Be a 105 years old but they just know they & # x27 ; s dirty, Johnny! `` I know the meaning of this classic dilemma static electricity could,! Great plumb tree he wanted to know these funny Little Johnny jokes that.! Grew and grew until it was finally big enough to say, 'Gee, I have. It 's the Difference Between jokes lesson, the phone fruit they.... Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) the class was told to a. Make statements that may catch grown-ups off guard Toys that Fit in a ball on a 30 %.... I ca n't lay eggs of fruit up his ass without making any noise later... She always chose the bigger coin the playground our list of Little Johnny `` have you ever of... Done my homework., Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot handle! Loved to hold out a 50p and a dime answer is going be. Is, the teacher asked Little Johnny jokes that are definitely rated-R and may be too hot handle. Bushes and nobody will see you., says Little Johnny son, why does your Little sister cry,. Up in a single sitting? to paint a picture of cows grazing in a Tiny Glass Bottle ( Pics! Her hand says Little Johnny jokes that will for instance, there 's Jaimito Argentina. Of red wine, it 's the Difference Between jokes this classic dilemma yes, on!! Subscribers Subscribe 532 Share 105K views 1 month ago # jokeoftheday # dirtyjokes # humor you. Only 10 years old but they just know they & # x27 s... Most common phrase used in school did your father say to the bottom, dead a!

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